Blamer Or Problem Solver
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Am I a blamer or a problem solver?

4 min read

Some people spend a lot of time finding fault in and blaming others. And it is quite natural for them to blame others for their shortcomings. But it takes a lot of courage for people to take full responsibility for their actions. For instance, we’ve seen many fathers typically shout at their wives, ‘our son/daughter has got spoiled because of your pampering”. Finding someone to blame for any problem is a favourite pastime for all of us.

When something goes wrong, most people’s first instinct is to blame their bad luck, pass the blame on to others, or simply lament about their particular situation:

  • If they’re overweight and unhealthy, they blame the fast-food industry, the soda industry, the restaurant industry, their lack of time, or their genetics/ parents.
  • If they’re late to work, they blame the cars in front of them for not going faster or waiting too long at stop signs.
  • If they’re in a job they hate that doesn’t pay them enough, they blame the economy or their boss for keeping them down.
  • If they get turned down for a date or dumped, they blame the other person for being an idiot and not recognizing the amazing person in front of them.

It’s much easier to pass the blame and responsibility onto somebody else, so there’s no guilt necessary when no action is taken!

Making bad decisions is a part of life. Blaming others for your bad decisions is immature.

On the other hand, problem solvers who usually are successful people do face the problems and focus on resolving them instead of complaining:

  • They accept responsibility for being overweight and out of shape. They identify ways to start making changes to their daily habits that start to turn things around.
  • They accept responsibility for being late. They find ways to be on time instead, like getting up early, leaving for work on time, finding alternative routes with less traffic on the way.
  • They accept responsibility for being in a job they hate in which they don’t get paid enough. They develop new skills or learn from online courses that make them more valuable. They’re okay with having that uncomfortable but necessary “I deserve a raise and here’s why” talk with their boss.
  • They accept responsibility for their part of a failed relationship or less-than-stellar interactions with meeting new people, and they identify ways to improve their social skills, work harder to make a better first impression, and take the time to analyze the type of person they really want to be with.

Many times when people mess up at work, it’s very common to see them shifting the responsibility to someone else. Many of us have experienced an employee missing a deadline and trying to throw a colleague under the bus for their mistake, like: “I couldn’t get this done on time because she didn’t give me data on time, client has given so many changes, designer was not free, etc etc.” Everyone is going to mess up at some point, but blaming others for mistakes is not a healthy or responsible coping mechanism.

On the whole, blaming somebody/something else is easier and tempting, but that would work for a very short run. Instead, be responsible for all your actions and inactions. And, that would take you to unbelievable heights and success.

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